GM, can you hear me now?

Ok, so GM is re-introducing the Camaro. Evidently, it's making a big hit
Whatever.

So.

A friend and I exchanged some possible options that GM might want to include for this monumental occasion.

1). Built in mullet headrest.

2). Big gulp sized drink holders.

3). In lieu of "new car smell" will come reeking of either: a). weed, b). Vanillaroma or c). Winstons.

4). Paint color options: Bondo or primer.

5). Comes standard with either Cragar wheels or three hubcaps.

6.) Feather roach clip on rear view mirror: Standard.

7.) 8-track cassette deck. (none of that fancy mp3 stuff) The sport package comes with a built-in (simulated wood grain, natch) 8-track holder ready loaded with Molly Hatchet, Lynard Skynard, AC/DC, REO Speedwagon, STYX and BTO cassettes. Purchasers who test drive a model before July 31 receive a membership to Columbia House Record Club.

8.) Chain link steering wheel factory installed.

9.) Huge CHEVY or CAMARO decal on front and rear windscreens. Standard. All models. No exceptions.

10.) Pot leaf, naked girl or flame front license plate with lit neon holder. Standard in states which do no require official front plates.

11.) All purchasers will receive an 8-ball, naked chick or pot leaf combination key chain/bottle opener.

12.) Paint color options, sport package: Metal flake purple fade to yellow; Metal flake red with flames. Oh wait. Pontiac did that. Never mind.

13.) Smoke blue window tint. Standard.

14.) New design gear shift so thigh bandana doesn't get caught on shifter while shifting.

15.) Everclear and Jagermeister bumper stickers factory installed.

16.) Six pack cooler on right passenger back seat floor for easy reach while driving.

17.) Back seat: Ribbed for her pleasure.

18). Eight ball shift knob

19). Oil leak and transmission fluid leak standard.

20). Louvers on back window.

21. Naked lady mudflaps (or Yosemite Sam for Conservatives).