So last Thursday night I got on the red eye leaving the Northwest and headed toward O'hare airport. My favorite airport. 11:45 pm, flew through Dallas-Fort Worth to O'hare. Yeah. Red eye from the calm Northwest through the biggest airport in the world to the busiest airport in the world. All this with no sleep (of course).
I'm convinced only people shorter than 5'6" can even think about sleeping on a plane. I'm no giant, but my 6'1" frame barely squeezes into the seat, let alone comfortable enough to consider sleeping in one.
So at 4:45 am local time I set down in DFW. Gate C31 to Gate C2. only 29 numbers, right? How far could it be? Well, it seemed like 9 miles, but I'm pretty sure it was less. I get my requisite cup of coffee along with others (hey, I wasn't sleeping anyway). I sit down and hear this guy talking. Initially he's speaking very quickly, so damn quickly I can't figure out whether it's Cantonese or some derivative of a Romance language. Turns out to be French (damn French). When he switches to English for good, I (along with the other 50 people in the terminal) overhear him telling the person on the other end of the phone that he's been in this country only 2 weeks and has nothing good to say about Americans. Hello??? We can hear you. You don't need to insult us to our faces, at least have the French decency (oxymoron) to do it behind our backs.
Cowboy hats.
Is there no etiquette for the use of cowboy hats? There must be some rules about those things. Let me tell you, Texans take their cowboy hats seriously. It's just something that should be carried on a plane at 5:00 am, not worn on. It's just to early to be fully dressed up in boots, big belt buckle and a cowboy hat. Are you headed to Chicago for a rodeo? Do they have rodeos in Chicago?
My arrival in O'hare was grand. Plane on time, sun up. Beautiful weather. Large, international car rental company has my reservation (surprising), and off I go. I get on I-190 at 9:00 am. Just in time to sit in some traffic. Not too bad though. Many tolls later, I arrive at my destination bleary eyed, caffeinated and excited to see family.
Nothing like family to keep us humble. No matter what we have accomplished 2,000 miles away, when we get around family, in their eyes we're still 14, still with a bad haircut and still a target for sarcastic comments.
Trillian got it right with the Minnesota nice comment and the appropriate use of Passive aggressive behaviors in small towns.
I endured 3 days of that, then returned car to Large, international car rental company, but not after enduring the commute going the opposite direction.
For those of you who don't know Chicagoland (love that word) that well, O'hare airport is on the Northwest(ish) side of the city. Where I was coming from was Southeast of the city. There you have it, I got to cross the gauntlet that is Chicagoland twice in 3 days. Edens, Stevenson, Tri-state. I did 'em all. Tolls. Antiquated thought, don't you think? Hey,
Mayor Daley, can we consider getting rid of those? Do I talk to you or the Governor? I'm painfully reminded, though, that there are truly only two seasons in Chicagoland. Winter and road construction.
Rusty.
