Why

So, today is a rough day. I've thought about you a lot today. Why some things, why some other things. Just in general, why?

I hope things have improved. Things were miserable near the end; miserable for a lot of people, worst for you.

I still come by and visit you when I'm near home. I plan to do that every time. It's tough, though. 2500 miles does a lot to dull the pain, but being back there brings back just about all of the feelings from then.

I talk to HER about you and stuff, but SLPTG will never understand you and what you meant to me. What you meant to a lot of people. I think you underestimate how much you meant to a lot of people. I guess it's the lesson. Tell those people who you're close with how you feel about them. You might not get the chance later on.

You might be screaming over the sound of 15 L of Oxygen via a mask over the telephone 2500 miles away just how you feel. Those being the last words you would ever hear from me.

It fucking hurts bad.


-Rusty.